You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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