i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
