I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
