then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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