is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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