Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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