Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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