we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
