I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
