you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
