Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
