So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nicole vs. Life
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
