you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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