I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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