she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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