Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
