whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You're a waste of cheezeits
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
