@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
