So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
