member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
