before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
