So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
