We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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