I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
