Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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