Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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