OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
