i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Pappa wants mamma naked
My balls are so social today.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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