Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Randomize
