I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
