woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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