big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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