New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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