My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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