it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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