whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dignity is for republicans.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
