I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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