my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
