What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
