It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Will exercising make me less horny?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
