The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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