the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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