hell yes lets make some ravioli
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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