It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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