Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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