so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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