You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
