totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That accounts for only three of the penises
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize