it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
