Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
