You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
