Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
