some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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