Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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