i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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