Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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