I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
