The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this boner is exhausting
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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