Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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