He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
