we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
