i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He felt like a one man threesome
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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